Recently, I hit a rough patch of life that caused me feel insecure.  As a result of this situation, my usually upbeat self perception became very negative.  In the process of sorting out my emotions, I recalled experiencing these same emotions when I was a teenager. At that time, my Granny was alive and I spent a lot of time on her front porch discussing my emotions with her and seeking her advice.

The wisdom she shared all those years ago is as good today as it was when she originally shared it.  She told me, “Your problems stem from self perception.  Self perception determines your behavior.  If you perceive yourself as inadequate and unworthy, you will behave that way.  If you perceive yourself as capable and worthy, you behave that way. You don’t need acceptance from others it must come from within.”

Often a person can’t choose their external   circumstances. However, each of us can determine how we choose to respond to them.  Beginning today, I’m going to evaluate my self-perception on a regular basis, adjust my response to life’s situation so that I am able to remain healthy and happy.  I’m going to:

  • Remind myself that I am worthy and focus on positive things in my life.
  • Keep my self-awareness fresh.
  • Accept that my worthiness flows from a core of self love
  • Remember that loving myself isn’t one time event. Rather, it is a moment by moment ongoing process.
  • Claim the awesome life that is my birthright.
  • Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make me feel alive.
  • Surrender, relax, let go and enjoy life.
  • Stop striving to see life’s whole picture and take the next step on faith.
  • Stop wasting time wishing that people and events in my life were different and accept them as they are.
  • Believe that limitless opportunities are available to me and take action to create a beautiful life for myself.
  • Be patient with myself.
  • Let go of urgency and fear.
  • Stop trying to be perfect and love my imperfect self.
  • Pay attention to the present moment and be at peace.
  • Speak up, speak out and allow myself to be seen and heard when I have something to contribute.
  • Stop participating in activities that bring me down.
  • Not allow toxic people in my life.
  • Remain grateful, love myself and appreciate my talents.
  • Always make time for fun and joy in my life.

Betty Freeman Haines, an author and award winning columnist, lives in Mesquite, NV.  Her books/e-books, Reluctant Hero and Grieving Sucks or Does It, can be ordered from amazon.comShare your thoughts and opinions with her at