She went to the Philippines for a month to visit her family. I had to pick her up at the Las Vegas airport the evening of November 5. So that morning, I made a really big sign that said, “Ida, will you marry me?”
Even though we have been married for 10 years, we have often talked about having a church wedding in her home town of Dumangas, with all of her family present. That’s because we got married by a justice of the peace in Manila, far away from Dumangas. And so I figured a sign that asked her, publicly, to marry me would make her happy.
Sure enough, when she came down the escalator at Terminal 3, she saw me with the sign and broke into the most beautiful shy smile you ever did see! We hugged and kissed for several minutes!
Then, I did something extra. I did something that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi do—at least what they do in my book, Fractured Fairy Tales: Political Monkey Business, which is now available in Barnes & Noble and other bookstores, as well as on Amazon.com. One of the 35 stories is titled “Cross-Dressers Dirty Harry Reid and Nasty Nancy Pelosi Visit Taco Bell.” It’s about how both of them use the short messages on Taco Bell sauce packets to make decisions. They keep about 50 in a desk drawer. When they want to make an important decision, they pick one and do what the package says. Their rationale: It’s better than using a Ouija board.
Here’s what Nancy told Harry: I get ideas for lots of my fiendish plans by reading the packages.
Harry responded: One time, the packet I picked up said “If you never do, you’ll never know.”
Nancy: How did that one inspire you?
Harry: Well, it made me throw caution to the wind. Last year, I gave $1,000 to my grand-daughter’s jewelry company. I tried to disguise it by saying it was a campaign expense. I said I gave it to Ryan Elisabeth because I didn’t want to use her real name, Ryan Elisabeth Reid. But it backfired. I got caught by the Federal Election Commission.
Nancy: What did they do to you?
Harry: Absolutely nothing. Aren’t you glad we politicians are above the law!
Well, after I wrote that story, I started looking for Taco Bell sauce packets that were romantic. I found 10 of them. I put four of them in my pocket and took them with me to the airport.
As we were waiting for Ida’s luggage, I gave her the first one. It said “I missed you.”
I got another hug and kiss.
Then, I gave her the second one. It said “You’re my soul mate.”
Once again, more hugs and kisses.
When I gave her the third one, which said, “Let’s run away together,” she gave me probably the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her—ever!
Once again, lots of hugs and kisses.
Then, I gave her the final one. It said “Call your mom.”
Another big smile, more hugs and kisses.
Then, her luggage came down the ramp. We picked them up, got into the car, and drove back to Mesquite. The 90 mile-trip from the airport was very, very nice. And after we got back home, the rest of the evening was even nicer.
Why don’t you try using Taco Bell packets to express your emotions? Write me at email@example.com and let me know what you did and what the results were.
Dr. Donald Wayne Hendon is a consultant, speaker, trainer, and author of 14 books, including his latest—Fractured Fairy Tales: Political Monkey Business. It has 35 political satires, each around the length of this column. Similar to Saturday Night Live sketches—but a lot funnier! Other books: The Way of the Warrior in Business, Guerrilla Deal-Making (with Jay Conrad Levinson) and 365 Powerful Ways to Influence. Jay Levinson recently passed away. He specifically chose Don to be his final co-author—the person most qualified to carry the torch of guerrilla marketing into the 21st century. Deal-Making contains the 100 most powerful tactics from 365 Powerful Ways—along with 400 winning countermeasures. There are 121 aggressive tactics, 92 defensive ones, 24 cooperative ones, and 16 submissive ones to get what you want from other people. Plus 81 dirty tricks to watch out for and 31 tactics to prepare you for your interaction with them. Download Chapter 1, free of charge, at www.DonaldHendon.com. Play Don’s free online Negotiation Poker game by going to GuerrillaDon.com. Apps will soon be available.