By Trina Machacek 

I woke up the other morning, and the thought of Q-Tips came to the forefront of my mind. You know. Like waking up and thinking about why cows lick at their nose with their tongues? I suppose that is answered the same as people answering the joke about why dogs lick—well you know. The answer is “Because they can.

Trina Machacek

” But! Yes, a softly swabbed “but.” What other reason is there for a cotton swab, aka, Q-Tip, other than for your ears. Which! All doctors will tell you not to use these magical ditties in your ears. I have always been taught to use nothing except my elbow in my ears. Well since I can’t seem to get my elbow to my ears, that leaves—nothing to use in my ears. I’d like to see someone who could actually put their elbow in their ears. Quite a visual for sure.

            So. If you take away using a Q-Tip for any medical purpose, any art purpose, and any make-up purpose. What are uses for these little ear diggers?
             Let me say here that I find these “cotton candy wrapped little bug barbells,” an inspired invention. Did you know that in 1923 Leo Gerstenzang was watching his wife roll little pieces of tissue around the ends of a toothpick to clean their baby’s ears when he got an epiphany to make the first cotton swab? Yes, Ole Leo is the king of the swab. He started all the rage, started marketing them and called them “Baby Gays.” I suppose because they made babies so happy to get their ears cleaned with the soft tipped sticks. So. Why can babies get the swab but as an adult we are told the elbows story? Because we, as adults, cannot be trusted to not hurt ourselves. We humans, yes, I have been guilty of this; Digging clear down in our ears to places we should not enter into. I suppose we could always ask any passing mother to use a swab on our ears. Apparently, moms are the only people on mother earth that are qualified to bring swab and ear together!

Although this “new” product was originally called Baby Gays, in 1926, the labels were changed to read Q-tips® Baby Gays. Later, the name Baby Gays was discarded and Q-tips® became the identifying mark for cotton swabs. The “Q” in Q-tips® stands for quality and the word “tips” describes the cotton swab at the end of the stick.

I was on a trip with a friend and we shared hotel rooms as we traveled along. One morning as we were just waking up, okay she was waking up as I was already laying in my bed thinking of this Q-Tip problem. I mentioned to her to try to think of anything other than ears, medical, art or make-up that these swabs could be used for. She had been a medic for wildland fire. She listed hundreds of icky applications to use them for medical purposes. I am here to tell you that I never knew you could roll an eyelid back with a swab so you could look into someone’s eye to get out a piece of whatever was in there. Man I could have used that little trick several times on my husband. He often got pieces of metal in his eyes while working in his machine shop. I would twist up the end of a tissue, calling it a ninny, hold his eye open with one hand and get whatever was swimming in his eye with my ninny. A Q-Tip makes much more sense. Live and learn.

The thing is that neither of us could think of anything but ears to use these magical teeny tiny batons for. Truth be told, it took up several miles of roadway that day on our trip talking about just the medical uses. The doctors used an innumerable amount of those long ones during Covid. How many do you suppose were stuck up noses?

I bet over his life, Bob Ross, the guy on TV that teaches painting, has used his fair share of paint dipped swabs. Oh and crafters. Talk about an innumerable number of Q-tips! From getting in those little corners of shadow boxes to spreading glue or glitter on the latest creation, the swab is the go-to tool and has a place in every crafter’s room.

Today someone has decided the rolled stiff stick in my swabs needed to be made of plastic. Come on, leave well enough alone. I mean how are all those bugs supposed to use the swabs as barbells if they bend in the middle. Just saying.

Trina lives in Diamond Valley, North of Eureka, Nevada. She loves to hear from readers. Email her at itybytrina@yahoo.com