By Trina Machacek 

I remember when we were moving into our first, and last brand-new home. I have lived here, in this home for some forty years and yes, I can remember back that far. I was sitting on the floor; the conglomerate of our lives had not been brought into the new abode yet. I was at one end of the house, and I could see all the way down the hallway into the back bedroom. It looked to be at least a mile! But! Yes, a 5-minute mile “but.” It was all new, fresh and clean. Walls fresh, cupboards all free of the sticky that comes with living in a home. In my home anyway. Sinks, shower, tub all sparkling. Like you see on a TV commercial after Mr. Clean zooms up and down and all around. Then, in my head I heard that little voice.

Trina Machacek

What it was saying, actually shouting was, “We’re gonna need a bigger vacuum.” Like in the movie “Jaws,”. We’re going to need a bigger boat.” I was going to need a bigger super sucker.  My old green suck-o-matic vacuum was never going to live through all the carpet I saw as I sat on that new floor. Looking down the carpeted lane of our new home, I kind of felt sad and guilty that my old reliable vacuum, that for years had served me well, was doomed. In the little house with no more than maybe 500 square feet of carpeting, it was responsible to keep me free of dead flies and cat hair. Now? A whopping 2000 square feet of carpet laid before me.

I gave my old vacuum a try for a while. Soon it heated up with the amount sucking I was asking of it and I replaced it. That was actually two or three machines ago. I now have two, one that uses a bag and one that is bagless. It’s weird that I ended up with two. I mean it’s not like Santa brought me one. Santa knew better. HAHA

No it was that I needed a hand-held vacuum and I ran across a sale where if you bought the upright, a new handheld cordless, hang on the wall grab and go vacuum was thrown in with the big one.  I still have the big one, it is very loud and obnoxious and needs a bag so it is in second place in the hall closet. The handheld. Well, that’s where I need to go today. That free zoomer has given up and now lives in the trash trailer. Waiting for its last ride; to the landfill. Queue the sad funeral music please. Move along folks, nothing to see here.

Now I am on the prowl for a replacement. Life just never stops with its needs and wants does it? That last one, that I got for free, was valued at about $39. I just looked at some new ones. Holy Moley. They start, start mind you, at near sixty bucks. Going up to over $130.00! I just want it for sucking up flies off the windowsills and kitchen floor. For some reason I get all squeamish at picking up dead bugs with my fingers. I could never be a dead guy, guy, aka mortician. And I am too tight to use a new, fresh whole tissue on one dead bug. To validate using a tissue, I blow my nose first. Even if I don’t have to blow my nose. At least if I blow my nose, it’s magically a used tissue and I can unapologetically use it to pick up a dead bug off the floor. Yes, that’s how my tightwad, girl mind works. But I digress.

I did finally find one little handheld, cordless thing. I bought it. I don’t like it. It is wimpy. It has about as much suck as a three-year-old trying to learn how a straw works. Not much suck there either. At least a three-year-old eventually will learn how to suck. This baby! It takes five or six passes to get a dead fly off the carpet. Oh but, it does have a headlight. I have no idea why. I mean it’s not like I am going to get up at 3 a.m., run to the place it hangs on the wall, grab it and start to vacuum up dead bugs or spilt sugar. The company should have put more power thought into what it was designed to do instead of figuring out how to put a headlight on the little sucker.

That was my recent silly struggle. I find that if I just talk about or write about life’s struggles they turn into giggles. Here’s to the next giggle in our lives.

Trina lives in Diamond Valley, north of Eureka, Nevada. She loves to hear from readers. Email her at itybytrina@yahoo.com