The innocence of adolescence …it’s how we begin our journey in life. As children, growing up we all shared secrets with our friends, and while it seemed perfectly harmless or silly at the time, psychologists today have many different opinions on this subject…not-to-mention parents. Beginning with adolescence, it’s extremely important that a child can differentiate when it’s okay to keep a secret and when it’s not. An example being… a surprise birthday party; but if they cannot understand the difference, than the adult needs to teach them, that if the secret ‘can’ hurt someone or something… then they need to tell. Most parents prefer that their children don’t have secrets today, it can turn into a serious problem; whether it’s as a teen or adult, this behavior can become harmful in more ways than one. The older generation had many secrets, including family secrets; sadly… some ugly truths were hidden within, but they were not alone. Their friends’ families also kept secrets, and clearly there were ‘things’ that were never discussed. Keeping secrets was a learned behavior by those generations, and yet they knew deep inside their hearts…the difference between right and wrong; they were able to master their silence.
Secrets which shouldn’t be kept are those that could potentially harm others, as well as yourself. It brings unhealthy behavior into your life; it creates suspicion, resentment and unforgiving hearts. It’s especially harmful when it involves people you genuinely care about and love. What’s worse is the possibility it may even destroy the lives of others. Now you might entertain the thought of confessing to your person of interest, with whom you’re hiding information from. How that turns out depends on whom you’re confessing to. Confessing secrets in an intimate relationship (significant other, spouse or family member) can be risky; it’s a catch 22. While you think releasing your secret might reduce your guilt, there’s no guarantee it will; trust me. The one receiving this confession may be unforgiving, possibly feeling harmed in a way that’s so painful… their feelings are damaged beyond repair. In their mind… they are questioning your motives. It’s important to be mindful of how others feel, because the truth is… it’s hurtful to have hidden secrets and unanswered questions. There are secrets everywhere, in the workplace, in schools, and homes; keeping secrets can be damaging to our well-being.
When forming new relationships, withholding something from your past might be better left there (past), especially if it’s irrelevant. If you feel unsure about something, ask yourself…”will it hurt someone or myself?” Be wise when choosing to divulge information in a new relationship, but remember…you don’t want your soul to feel weighed down by your emotions, causing you physical illness, it’s unhealthy. Release yourself of the secret you hold. It’s not worth the anxiety and captivity of one’s soul.
Make your week count.