There have been several statements posted in the comments section of our news site in the last week calling for me to run for Mayor of Mesquite.

First, let me say that I’m flattered and honored at such a suggestion, and grateful to those who floated the idea.

Back when I was still in high school, my senior yearbook had comments about my oft-proclaimed plans to either run for the governor of Maryland or become a professional writer.

I’ve actually accomplished the latter.

Just a few years before that, I had espoused my intent to grow up and become a police officer (been there, kind of done that), and to become a country singing star (did that too, depending on whether your definition of "star" has a mileage limit).

Of course, when I was eight, I had publicly stated my intention of one day becoming Batman.

It wasn’t the idea of fighting crime or doing good which prompted the statement.

It was that incredible utility belt that Bruce Wayne’s alter-ego wore containing all those amazing gadgets.

When I was 18, I sort of “did that” too.

Obviously I didn’t become Batman.

But I did get a job as a construction worker, which entailed wearing this uber-cool tool belt fitted with a hammer, screwdrivers, a drill, a chalk line, and a variety of other interesting carpentry toys that would have made Batman envious.

With the comments in my yearbook about becoming governor, the idea of running for mayor actually fits as a starting point for a dream that's now 30 years old.

So today, I am officially making my public announcement about running for mayor.

Here it is:

It’s not going to happen.

I’m not running for mayor of Mesquite.

Or city council, or county commission.

In fact, about the only two elected positions I’d even remotely consider would be if they created the job of Municipal Lasagna Inspector, or handed out the title of Prime Rib Czar.

If those two seats were on the ballot, I’d throw my hat in the ring so fast it would make your petition spin.

But when it comes to running for any other elected position, I’m just way too honest for my own good.

I have this nasty habit of saying what’s on my mind without spin or concern for political correctness.

To get elected in this era, you can’t tell the truth.

You have to provide varieties of vague statements that can be interchangeably inserted into press releases that sort of sound true-ish.

For example, it might get me votes from Tea Partiers, but I can’t honestly claim that I can see Mexico from my back porch.

Another problem is that I don’t always play well with others.

While you might think that the job of mayor is this all-powerful position, the truth is that you can’t get much done without a lot of compromises with a room full of other egotists.

Also, the pay is lousy.

With the mayor’s salary around $18,000 a year, I’ve finally discovered a job that pays even worse than the newspaper business.

Sometimes I think the only way a mayor in Mesquite could make a decent living is if they wore a paper hat and said “would you like fries with that?” after every council vote.

It takes a special kind of person to be a politician, and I know that it’s not in me.

I have trouble asking my wife for a quarter for a Vegas parking meter, so I know I can't beg rich strangers and greedy corporations for campaign contributions, especially since the only strings I'm willing to accept are those on a bass guitar.

And in all seriousness, I believe I can do a lot more good for the people of my community in my current job, keeping an eye on those egotists.

Besides, if I became mayor…who would I have left to write about?