We all get them. The phone calls. The robot calls. The mind numbing calls that bring you to the edge of the cliff. The ones that come during dinner or at the exact time you are up to your eyeballs in making lunches and pouring cereal in the mornings. This is not a secret note about what to do to stop those calls. I’m afraid that there will never be a true end to those calls so just know that the hang up is nearly the best revenge. But—here are a few of the ideas that have come across my path to deal with the darned calls.

                I love this one. Blow a whistle. This of course will only work when there is a real person on the phone. It really gets their attention and works off some of your frustrations too. A win-win situation. 

                Oh one time we got a call from some company somewhere and they became very annoying over a period of time so I tried the whistle thing. Well the next call I got was from the same salesman who, when I picked up the phone, let go with a line of words and sentences that would make a marine blush. So just beware that you may get that type of answer this best defense. 

                Just picking up the phone and not saying anything until the person starts to talk then just listen and maybe just put the phone down and walk away. Hey the call is on their dime, might as well use as much of it as you can! Just don’t forget to go back and hang up your phone. It is after all your phone to use and enjoy. 

                You might think that in this day of caller ID that I could just let the answering machine pick up the call if a number that I don’t recognize is on the display. Well you are partially right. But we are running some ads for a couple of cars for sale and we need to answer all the calls. So we are stuck with getting these exasperating calls and we call this, “Getting Googled.” 

                Getting Googled has become our standard answer to, “Who was on the phone?” “I got Googled” is the reply. Getting Googled started when we went through a series of automated calls. That stops the questions that follow–who it was, what did they want, what did they say? All questions that are nearly as annoying as getting Googled in the first place! 

                Oh and have you noticed that the phantom callers are getting more sophisticated? Yes they now use your area code and your local prefix, the next three numbers in your phone number for all the phones in your area. Used to be that you could rely on the caller being someone you might know in your town if the prefix of the call coming in was the same as yours. Even when cell phones came out, that prefix was reliable. But now the little dickens use numbers that could be from down your street so you fall into their web, answering just to be sure… There they are, the zombie callers and you grumble back to what you were doing. 

                Back to being Googled. Just what is being Googled? First off I have never had a Google ad. I have never had a Google account nor have I even bought any Google glasses. But for some reason Google has decided that my Google ad needs to be updated, or is outdated, or is expiring, or has expired, or needs to be renewed, or… These are robo calls and they were coming in as 800 numbers that I no longer answer at all. But now Google has started using 775, my area code, 237, my local prefix then **** four numbers to finish the required seven digits to create a phone number. And again since we are running those ads for stuff for sale I answer. Getting Googled, again. 

                Please don’t get me wrong. I like Google. I Google stuff all the time. I learn more that I will ever really need to know when I Google. I think Google is great. But really do they need money bad enough to robo call non-customers about non-existent accounts? Ah, but what if it really isn’t Google calling me? Wouldn’t you think that Google has enough money in its slush fund to go out and find out who is imitating them and smash ‘em like a bug? I would be way more than happy to be put on the Google payroll to take on this task for them. Maybe I should Google them to see if they would be interested in that. 

                Oops, gotta go, the phone is ringing—please let it be someone that wants to buy a 1942 one of a kind Chevrolet Divco Milk Truck! 

                Trina Machacek lives in Eureka, Nevada. Share with her at itybytrina@yahoo.com.       Really!