North To Nevada

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North To Nevada
(Sung to the song: “North To Alaska” by Johnny Horton)

Way up north (north to Nevada)
Way up north (north to Nevada)
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on

Clive’s clan joined Clark County
In the year of eighteen-two
With fourteen of his children
And his brother Danny too
They crossed the Virgin River
Lookin’ for some land to use
With twenty herd of cattle
Well he didn’t have much to lose

Clive watched his herd of bovine
Thrive and grow on the BLM
But to pay Feds for his usage,
Well it never occurred to him
Now they want to round up all those cows
Take them off their precious land
Where the tumbleweeds blow ‘cross the plains
In that endless stretch of sand

Where the river is muddy
And life’s fuddy-duddy
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on

Oh Clive turned to Danny
With a shotgun in his hand
Said “Dan you’re a-lookin’ at a persecuted man
I’d trade my ‘thousand cattle
If they’d just leave me alone
I won’t give in to their evil ways
In the land I call my home”

He didn’t pay a nickel
As they moo’d on thru the sand
They ate up all those turtles
In that god-forsaken land
Well they trampled down the desert rose
Where the Indians once prayed
Now the FBIs in the BLM and Clive is DOA

Where the river is muddy
And life’s fuddy-duddy
North to Nevada
They go north, the heat is on
North to Nevada
They go north, the heat is on

Oh Clive’s a die-hard Mormon
With a clan of twelve plus two
He feels this land is his land
And there’s nothin’ Feds can do
He never paid the ranching fee
For his cows to graze each day
I guess his faith in Joseph Smith
Means he never has to pay

Well they called out for militias
And they came from ev’ry state
For a showdown with the government
Now it’s worse than Watergate
Well the Feds brought men and dogs and guns
And their tinted SUVs
But they didn’t count on a Mormon man
Who’s a real-life S-O-B

Where the river is muddy
And life’s fuddy-duddy
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on

Well the Feds put up a protest place
Where the townsfolk all could yell
They brought their signs and they told them all
That the Feds could “go to hell”
Feds shot his son with a taser gun
And ol’ Dan he hit the deck
Well the crowd went wild in the desert sun
Big Clive said “Oh my Heck!”

So where is Reid when you need him most?
Well I guess he’s on the run
Don’t care much for us desert folk
When he’s havin’ too much fun
He’s livin’ large on Nevada’s dime
He’s a real-life DC ‘ho
And he sold your soul to Obama’s ilk
Like conservatives told you so

Where the river is muddy
And life’s fuddy-duddy
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on
North to Nevada
You go north, the heat is on

Way up north (north to Nevada)
Way up north (north to Nevada)
(FADE)
Way up north (north to Nevada)
Way up north (north to Nevada)

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